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Visions Of Hamburgers

The hamburger is the ultimate American fare of preference for patriots as the milkshake is the quintessential elixir to wash down the pulverized shards of protein, fat, salt and phosphate preserved tasteless bread of this central American delicacy.
A hamburger and milkshake have no past, no sign of visible membra, are fashioned from materials infinitely malleable, are not easily or at all related to their course sources, some probably perished and unlamented cow, is a kind of bestial repast floating in a white caloric envelope outside any link of known or even guessed at causality or biology from this ...

The Odium of Christmas

Christmas is an American holiday that has to be worked up to for a month or more; it canít be approached without over thirty days of alchemical ritual. First one has to celebrate Thanksgiving in the way only Americans can embrace a national holiday.
Before that sainted day of porcine revels can begin some tens of millions of turkeys are killed on farmed, cut up, froze
and delivered to supermarkets all over the country. The sheer volume of murder of these stupid but innocent foul is merely a prelude to the mayhem afterwards. Probably thousands of people are killed in ...

A Vacation In Bed-Sty

ďIíve been to lbeza,Ē said Isola de Chachkes, the svelte, trim, diet-conscious androgynous ganzemacher of Little Neck society the other day to her claque of shoppers at a posh mall. "Nowadays, Bed-Sty is the last place on this overrun planet one can have a civilized vacation."
To many a cunning matron of the posh Five Towns set Isola was probably the last to find out what every one of them knew long ago. Everyone from Montauk Point to Hempstead knows nothing is cheaper and more efficient than to take a sleek modern subway train to fantastical Fulton Street and ...

Visions Of Baba Yugga


I am going to recount here merely the various sacred sayings mostly about the murky mysteries of commerce I had heard over some years while a disciple of Baba Yugga, the charismatic financial guru born Artis Buckwhistle of East Peconic Park, New Hampshire. He was a saintly mahatma of business and commercial morals we shall all remember, some with adoration, others with an intense and unquenchable loathing.
Baba Yugga in this black maelstrom of controversy needs to be heard in his own voice, seen as he was, not exhibited like a household icon nor shabbily dismissed ...

Top 12 rejected tag lines to this site

1. A Cure for Pleasure
2. A Young Eunuch's Guide to Heaven, Hell and The Suburbs
3. Imaginary Take Out Joints, Almost Real Pizza
4. A Thousand And One Ways To Do Nothing
5. A Gaggle Of Neglected Cheap Hotels in Iraq
6. Remedies Without Diseases, Solutions Without Problems
7. Comfy Commuting In An Ultimate Wilderness
8. The American Medicaid Tour

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